I’m flying back from Chicago after speaking about this Soul Revolution Experiment. I’ve been thinking about how impossible it feels to adequately explain what I’ve personally experienced—words just don’t cut it. I find I can’t even adequately explain it to my kids. Life moment by moment with God is so much better than anything else I’ve experienced. And yet, I still fail at it more than I get it right. But when I do get it right—it’s wonderful!

What motivated me to try to get people doing the 60-60 experiment is my own experience. Personally, I stumbled upon it while teaching the biblical basis of the 12 Steps. Step 3 is all about turning my will over to do the will of God only! The way it’s lived out is one moment at a time, praying for God’s will to be done instead of my will be done. I thought about how rigorous this practice of full surrender is, and how most Christians I know do not live that way because we’re not taught that’s how you should live. But that’s exactly how Jesus lived, “my food is to do the will of my father.” (John 4:34) “I do only what I see the Father doing.” (John 5:19)

So I decided to try it. As I taught on the biblical underpinnings of the Steps, I began to surrender my will and ways, and I instead started seeking God’s will and ways as often as I could remember throughout the day. It was on the backside of a very discouraging time when nothing was going my way. What I began to experience by continuing to turn my will over to doing God’s will was so fantastic; it really is difficult to explain. It’s difficult to explain because it’s internal and every word grasping to describe it feels cliché—joy, peace, a new sense of aliveness (why not make up a word!?). But the more I stayed connected and willing to do God’s will, the more I enjoyed every aspect of my life. The deeper I experienced love for my wife and kids, the more peace I experienced in the stresses of daily deadlines, decisions, and even disasters. The more willing I became, the more I experienced God trusting me with more of His work in the world, so this sense of being a business partner in a Kingdom enterprise grew. I felt more alive, less afraid, more wanting to bless others, less frustrated by them. And it’s not like this was a constant experience, but the better I got at staying connected and willing, the more consistently I experienced this eternal quality of life growing within.

The first time I challenged our church to do this was in 2002 (that time it was the 30-30). After we did this, I had someone tell me about a book called Practicing His Presence. It’s the journal of two men who learned and practiced this very moment by moment responsiveness to the God who is with us. Brother Lawrence lived in France in the 1600s, Frank Laubach lived in the early 1900s, but as I read their journals I kept thinking “Wow—this is describing a lot of what I’ve experienced.” So this is nothing new, many have experienced it throughout the ages. In the next few blogs, I’ll share some insights from these men that have helped me.

It was so cool to hear the story of a middle school girl, who was concerned she might get in trouble for the watch beeping during class. She went for it anyway and discovered four of her teachers are also doing the 60-60 Experiment!

One thing I find as the weeks roll on is that the watch beep can develop another kind of habit—instinctively shutting it off and not doing much more than that! It just becomes a beepin’ annoyance. When I start to notice this, I have to shift how I’m responding when it beeps. Recently, I’m trying to take a minute or two to reflect on the past hour and pray for the next hour. Sometimes I need to practice gratitude with every beep. I find I need to adjust how I respond to the beepin’ watch along the way.

The ultimate goal is that we’re learning to stay open to God every moment of the day, talking over every thought, every sin, every celebration, every worry, every work project, every interaction so we stay experiencing His love and grace, and become more able to receive His guidance between the beeps. So when the beep is not serving to reorient me toward this, I have to remember the beep is NOT the point, every 60 minutes is NOT the point—these are just training wheels to help me learn to ride the bike more naturally!

As you do this experiment, don’t miss the point. Find ways to adapt and adjust so that you experience growing conversation and connection with the God who says his desire is that you “remain in His love” throughout the day.  “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15:9

Have you ever monitored how you keep this running conversation going with yourself most of the day (or is that just me?). Do you talk to yourself about what you need to get done, do you talk to yourself about how you feel about someone, do you talk to yourself to make sure you remember important things, do you talk to yourself about your anxieties, do you talk yourself into a frenzy with worries about the future, do you talk to yourself about plans, strategies, dreams? There’s this ongoing conversation most of us have with ourselves throughout the day.

Here’s the “ah-ha” moment I realized: “I can either include God in that conversation or I can leave Him out.” What I choose makes a huge difference! My old way just leaves me pondering my thoughts alone. This new way we’re learning with the 60-60 allows me to hear and consider a new perspective (a bigger, wiser One maybe?). I’ve found this makes a huge difference for me.

So the goal is moment by moment connection to God’s Spirit, the beeps are just reminders. But your thoughts, worries, “to do lists,” meetings, deadlines, irritations, can all be great reminders as well.

Old way: I have the internal conversation, “Oh, man I’ve got so much to do in one hour, how am I going to get it all done?”
New way: “Lord, I’m starting to stress about all I have to do this hour, calm me down so I can think clearly. What do You think is most important? How should I approach this?” You let Him in on your thoughts and you open yourself to His influence.

Old way: “If these kids whine or fight one more time, I’m gonna….”
New way: “Lord, my kids are driving me crazy constantly whining and fighting, what should I do? Help me stay calm and know how to lead them out of this. How can I teach them Your ways through this—help me.”  You open yourself up to new thoughts and new possibilities, rather than just reacting according to your old nature.

You get the idea. Instead of just talking to yourself, try directing the conversation toward the One who said, “I am always with you…Cast all your cares on me because I care for you.” (Matthew 28:20, 1 Peter 5:7)

I know for many people, doing the 60-60 can be both exhilarating and frustrating all at the same time. The reality is that the exercise of seeking constant mental connection to God’s Spirit and maintaining a willing spirit is strenuous—it does not come naturally because we’ve been trained most of our lives to live independent from God (even if we’ve been professing believers the whole time). This is why we need training. But reality is a back and forth struggle sometimes. Let me tell you about my Monday.

After a full day of work, my wife called to see if we could do something fun since the kids were off for Columbus Day. We decided to go out to the lake to eat and watch the sunset. I was feeling tired from Sunday, and the beeps throughout my day became more background noise than reminders. At 5pm I left work and stopped by a mechanic friend’s house to get him to check out my wife’s car—the engine light came on the day before. It took longer than expected because he said it could be the clutch, but he said driving it should be no problem.

I met them at the lake at 6pm, and as we ate Chinese food from our picnic table, looking over the beauty of Lake Travis, I noticed I wasn’t really present. Everything was wonderful, my wife and two kids and their two friends were all laughing and enjoying each other, we were surrounded by a beautiful sunset on one side and a full moon rising on the other—but I was not there! My watch beeped, and I realized I was missing the moment—hydroplaning over it in my mind. Kathy left the drinks in the car, so I volunteered to get them and made an effort to walk slowly and thank God for the beauty and my family. When I came back, my experience of the moment shifted and I began to enjoy it.

As we were driving back, I drove Kathy’s car (fortunately) because the clutch went out at the top of a steep incline—I coasted into a parking lot. Kathy followed me into the parking lot, and we spent about an hour on the phone with towing services and mechanics as the kids all found a way to enjoy the detour. I however, was getting frustrated and irritated more and more. This was not how I wanted the night to end, sitting alone in a parking lot waiting for a tow truck, knowing  a huge auto bill was about to slap us in the face. Kathy said, “Let’s go to Walgreens and get candy!” My first thought was sour, “No, this is supposed to be a miserable experience, don’t try to change it.” My watch didn’t beep, but I caught myself. “Lord, why am I not willing to try to make something fun out of this?” As I asked Him to change my attitude, I began to experience this frustrating situation with more patience.  But it required a mental choice.

We finally got home around 9:30.  My son had been waiting all day for me to help him with some recording software I bought him so we could have fun recording music together. As I was helping him and the software was not obeying my will, I noticed how easily I was expressing irritation toward my son. Even though several times that evening, God had rearranged my bad attitude and made something good out it, I defaulted back to irritable and impatient—for no real reason. After catching myself screwing up again, I opened my mind to the Lord: “Lord, what’s wrong with me? I bought this software so Justin and I could enjoy it together and I’m letting my irritation push him away from me. Help me.” As I submitted my will to God’s will, I sensed I needed to put my hand on Justin’s shoulder and just silently start thanking God for my son. As I did, my irritation calmed down. Though we didn’t get it fixed that night, we ended the night laying in his bed reading a novel we’ve been enjoying together, and I found myself filled with gratitude rather than filled with frustration and irritation.

That’s a typical day—back and forth—one minute connected and responsive, the next minute I default into old ways and find myself out of God’s will. That’s why I cling to the promise of 1 John 1:8-2:3:

8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. 1 My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. 2 He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.

Thank God he is like a loving, patient parent (unlike me). He teaches us to walk. As toddlers, when we fall, he picks us up and helps us keep trying—two more steps and another fall—but soon we start to walk across the room. This is how confession works—when we fall down (go our way instead of his), we admit it and reach out for his hand to pick us up and help steady us to walk forward with him again.

I’ve always been a doer—type A, driven, high achiever. I remember how He first broke through to me at a very stress-filled, anxious time in my life. It was the first time I attempted solitude. I had ridden my bike up into the mountains above Santa Barbara. I stopped in a canyon and decided I would stay until the Lord helped me truly de-stress (I gave him 3 hours). I prayed through all my worries several times, and then ran out of things to talk about. As I was hiking and telling him I wanted to hear whatever he wanted to tell me, I noticed two hawks soaring in the canyon. I found myself fixated on watching them, wondering what they were hunting. Then I noticed one dive and swerve, and the other dove and chased it. They kept doing this until I realized…they’re playing. As I said “they’re playing,” I had the strong thought, “I made them that way—they can enjoy life in Me.  And I want you to learn to enjoy life in Me.”

I had never considered that thought before—that God enjoys my enjoyment of the life He’s given me when I enjoy it with Him. Being the type-A driver, I just figured God was like that (stupid thought—that God is like me!). I pictured Him always tapping his foot when I enjoyed anything, wondering when I was going to quit screwing around and get back to being productive. That day He changed my mind. I realized our Creator gave us the ability to play, to make up games like football and soccer that test our skill and endurance, to surf waves, to create art and music. There would be no such thing as “fun” or “excitement” or “adventure” or “enjoyment” if He hadn’t created us to experience it!  Wow—it was such a freeing thought, and it has since changed my enjoyment of life with God.

Recently on my day off, my eleven-year-old son and I went to a skate park (with vertical walls and concrete bowls and all that). I looked like an idiot this summer, re-learning how to skateboard with all these pre-adolescent kids, but I did it! You know why? Because I want to enjoy life with my son. I love to enjoy him trying new things and conquering his fears, and it’s even more fun when we do it together. I enter into his world because I love enjoying life with him. And I’m not a better father than our Heavenly Father! So even as I was skating today, I was thanking God that I could even enjoy skating at my age, and especially that I hadn’t broken anything yet! And I sensed His pleasure that I’m never too old to enjoy the thrill of life with Him. I find I enjoy it more when I enjoy it with Him.  Go find something you love to do this week, but don’t enjoy it alone—enjoy it with your Heavenly Father! Thank Him that He gave you that ability to enjoy His good gifts.

In my office, I keep a clear, two liter coke bottle of muddy water. Seems strange, but it’s a reminder. This 60-60 practice helps reorient me to seeing God’s presence and activity in the little moments of every day, but I also find I need extended times to just be quiet and let the waters of my soul settle out. Even practicing the 60-60, if I just go, go, go, and never have at least an hour a week, or 30 minutes several times a week, to quietly pray and let God settle the muddy waters, soon my life feels murky.  But just like that bottle of water, if you let it rest, the silt settles out and the waters get clear again. I think one of the reasons I’m feeling a renewed excitement in my relationship with God—seeing and hearing more clearly—is because I took a half day for solitude.

As I was coming in to work the other morning, I was thinking about how much I probably miss every day because I don’t focus on responding like I am right now. It seems the more willing and available I intentionally make myself, the more God trusts me to do. It’s almost like He’s saying, “I have kingdom work to do, let’s see, who can I trust with it? If I prompt John, will he have the ears to hear and the will to respond?”

So I told the Lord, “I want to experience the thrill of helping someone find You. I know there are people in my life who don’t clearly understand Your grace and love, I want to help someone find faith—there’s no better way to live! If You’ll lead me to someone You know is ready, I’ll tell them what I know about Your grace and goodness and explain how they can put their trust in You.”

Later that morning, I’m in a meeting and had to look up an old email. As I did, the latest email sent caught my eye – it was the name of a woman who had struggled with addictions, came to Gateway exploring faith years ago, but never committed. She had moved overseas, but now she was back. Her email said, “I’m going to do this 60-60 Experiment, but I’d like to get some questions answered first, any way we could meet?”

Two days later, a guy I play soccer with called me saying he was feeling like he had a short fuse at the last game, and he needed to get his life back in balance. I had already felt a prompting to see if he wanted to do this 60-60 Experiment, but I wanted to have breakfast with him to see if he understood God’s grace first. Then he calls me!  So I’m meeting with both of them next week though I don’t “have the time” – I’m trusting I have enough time to do the things God wants me to and to get my ongoing responsibilities done as well. I’m seeing once again, the more trustworthy and faithfully willing I make myself, the more God trusts me to do. Life with God becomes an adventure!

This morning I was brushing my teeth and asking God what was in store for today. I had a series of thoughts stream through my mind: I thought about community and spiritual friendships from Sunday’s message, which led to thinking about a book I read on community, which led to a mental picture of the author. I had met the author in Chicago a few years back, and I ran into him at a conference I was speaking at six months ago. We recognized each other (though honestly, I couldn’t recall his name), but as we talked he really opened up about major hardship and crisis in his life. I could tell he was really struggling, and I kept praying as we talked, “Lord, give me his name—please!” Nothing came to mind.

So I’m brushing my teeth, I see this author in my mind and pray for him. Boom—his name comes into my mind clear as day. So I asked, “Lord, do you want me to call him?” Not sure, but remembering how the Lord had led me to write Daniel last week, I decided to respond. I asked Theresa, who assists me, to see if she can locate a number or email. She somehow found his cell phone and when I called that afternoon, it turned out he was in Austin! He lives in Ohio! That seemed too weird that he was in my city the day I get this prompting to call him.

I asked him if he had any idea why God might have put him on my mind. We ended up talking about all that God’s been doing to heal and restore him since we last talked. He confessed he was about to ditch God completely because of the misconstrued perspective of God’s intent, but getting honest about it with God led him into a new discovery. It struck me that he’s been learning about the very core of this 60-60 Experiment: how good God is when we let go of our old, controlling ways and learn to do life trusting him! He said the last four months have been some of the best of his life, not the easiest, but he’s found a new freedom, it’s been “playful” and “freeing” he said as he has discovered God’s presence everywhere, all the time, actively guiding him.

I also found out that he’s probably taking a job with the publishing house that published Soul Revolution. I told him I’d love to give him a copy of the book, so he’s stopping by tomorrow to pick it up.  I’m not sure what that was about or why I needed to connect up with him while he was in Austin, but maybe one day it will be clear. Or maybe it was just to encourage him on his newfound journey of faith. I’ll find out one day, but this whole thing makes the journey of life more exciting.

I woke up one night several weeks ago thinking of Daniel, a guy who came to faith at Gateway and then fell back into drug dealing with his brothers (all three are in the State Penitentiary). It was kind of weird that I had a dream about him. I’ve written him in prison on and off over the past three years, but I hadn’t been thinking about him. It was gonna be a very busy weekend and I had a lot to prepare for—our leadership retreat on Saturday, three services on Sunday, and speaking at a predominately African-American church in Austin Sunday night. I had to stay focused.

When I got to the office, I noticed a pile of mail I had not looked through. “Now is not the time to look through it,” I told myself. But I happened to see a handwritten return address with “Daniel” at the top. I felt like this was one of those God moments where He was trying to get my attention, so I opened it and read Daniel’s letter.

Daniel was struggling because another inmate who had become a spiritual mentor to him had been transferred suddenly. They had been reading scripture together, encouraging each other and praying together, and now he felt alone and abandoned by God. He hadn’t heard from me (I thought I’d written him, but it turns out months had gone by and I had not). It was the last thing I had time to do or felt like doing, but I stopped and wrote Daniel a note of encouragement. As I was writing, I had the thought “send him Soul Revolution” and encourage him to do it with other inmates.

I got a letter from Daniel today. He got the book and is going to do the 60-60 and find Running Partners to do it with in prison. He said, “I received your letter and book this week. Maybe by the time I see you, God will give me the words to adequately describe my feelings right now. I can just say, Salud!!! and Wow!!! I’ve already begun the 60-60 experiment and it has stirred emotions and given me hope that God is truly with me, even here in prison. I was struggling after James transferred; hurting in ways I hadn’t hurt in years. I started to cry out to God before I got your book. When I got it, I knew He was answering me. It’s like God loved me so much he woke you up to share His love with me. Isn’t that what you wrote in your book?”

Yes, it is…and it blows me away every time I see Him do it!

This weekend I realized that I haven’t been very present with the Lord. Even the beep became “normalized,” and I got so cranked up and busy that I gave the Lord more of a “head-nod” than an ear. I started to feel that wax-buildup in the spiritual ears. This is pretty common, and I’ve found only one thing that helps me—get alone with God and be still. I’ve developed an acquired taste over the years for these solitude times, because I’m an activist, Type-A (on steroids) by nature.

At first, I felt so guilty and unproductive just “doing nothing” but wasting time with the Lord. It felt like nothing was happening except that precious time was passing. But I have to tell you, I’ve been amazed at how replenishing and enjoyable these times of getting away to be alone with God have become. Now I find myself saying, “Oh Lord, where did the time go, I don’t want to leave.” And afterwards, my sense of His ever-present-ness remains much clearer throughout the following days.

The past three days, I got on my mountain bike and went out to “my place” for about an hour or so.  It’s a place I’ve been going now for about 10 years where I park my bike, and either sit on a rock and look out over the hill country while I talk to God, or I hike as I talk and listen. When my mind is moving so fast I can’t slow down the gears, I’ll walk and talk with the Lord before I try to sit still and listen. Somehow walking focuses my mind and frees it from other worries so that I can better listen quietly.

Dallas Willard (probably my favorite living author) says that solitude is the single most important spiritual practice needed in our frenetic age. I’m now convinced from experience of this truth. At first, I did solitude more as a discipline because it didn’t replenish me. The main reason it failed to replenish me is that I didn’t know how to slow down long enough to hear in my spirit the Lord’s quiet, calming voice. I needed enough time practicing this and pushing against the fearful resistance that yelled, “You’re wasting time you loser—this isn’t doing anything—do something so you’ll be somebody.” But that lie was what God needed to push out of my life. I needed to deeply hear that “You’re somebody because you’re connected to Me—apart from Me, you’re nothing,” but He couldn’t remove the lie until I pushed against it in solitude long enough to hear the truth. We all have lies and junk that God wants to show us (which is why some of us run from solitude—we don’t want to face those old coping mechanisms that became a comfortable false sense of security).

I’ve already seen an improvement in my consciousness of God’s presence and activity throughout the day today, and it feels like getting little glimpses into what heaven will be like. It changes the way I experience moments with my kids so that each moment becomes sacred and full of life (you know those moments you wish you could freeze and live in forever?), and it changes the way I deal with stress-potential challenges or deadlines that fly at me most days.

I just wish I could remember how good it gets when I get cranked up and disconnected and then believe that lie that says, “You don’t have time for solitude.”