I had so many people come up to me recently and say, “I experienced the same thing…such freedom and relief when I finally did a full spiritual inventory, put it all down on paper, confessed it to God and one other person.” But I also know that most people won’t do it out of fear. It takes tremendous courage. I was thinking this morning about why it takes such courage, and why long-time Christians are often unwilling to do this very biblical thing. I think it’s because we subconsciously live our lives playing roles. We play the lead role in our own drama about how to have a fulfilling life, and in order to keep the act going, we have to be a little bit better than, or different than, reality would dictate.

But we don’t just play this role for fun, we are doing it for LIFE—to get the soul satisfaction from knowing we are secure, lovable, valued!  Anything that threatens our character (in the drama) threatens our sense of security, lovability, value! That’s why most of us are stubbornly trying to hang onto the role even if it’s costing us health, relationships, and life itself! We’ve believed the part so fully, we can’t let go of the act to learn to fully be ourselves. But those who have the courage to let themselves face reality (the good and the ugly about themselves) can then live where God lives, because God only lives in reality (truth).

When I did this spiritual inventory this time, I didn’t really think I had any built up residue. I did it more because I was asking everyone else to.  I was shocked when I took an hour and sat quietly before God, asking Him to show me if there’s any junk in the closets He wants me to deal with—I found pages worth to write. There were little resentments that had developed and affected the way I was treating people, there were patterns I was making excuses for in the way I dealt with my family. It’s sobering to be rigorously honest. After I read my list to my Spiritual Running Partner and he did the same, we both had a sense of gratitude for the other person—realizing we’re in it together and we are committed to each other. We asked one another what we learned and what we wanted to do to move forward—it felt very life-giving. There’s something incredibly freeing about living in reality and allowing God and others to meet you there and show you how much you’re worth.